Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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