Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
