Duck Duck Cougar?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
