Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
