it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
