Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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