so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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