So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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