I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize