So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Farmville is her only friend.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
