Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
