bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize