I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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