Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
