i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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