i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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