I wish I could teleport
i was born a porn star she said
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Randomize
