Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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