I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
