I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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