I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
its not stalking. its research.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
