drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
