Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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