I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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