Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
