So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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