Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You're a disaster
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