I'm drive I can fine osifer
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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