The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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