I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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