Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
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