i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
