mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
In America we eat man semen.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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