Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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