He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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