I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
