a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
