I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
