I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
