Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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