My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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