I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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