just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
