i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
