jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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