Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
