You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
