i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
