Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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