I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize