I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
