You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
