Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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