You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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