dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
