I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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