I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
