you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
