So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
