haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I CAN MOONWALK!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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