I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
