I hate all girls vehemently.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
