very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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