At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
