There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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