He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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