I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
