I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
