She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
