I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
