were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I wear drunk well.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
