@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
