Acid is not a monday night drug
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
