I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
