She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
