Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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