Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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