I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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