It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
