gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
