totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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