And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
